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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29118045">Bedwars on DreamSMP ft. Eggboy80 and L’Chazm</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maaiams/pseuds/Maaiams'>Maaiams</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Bedwars Dreams [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Attempt at Humor, Crack, Crack Fic, Crack Treated Seriously, Dream Smp, Gen, Satire, bedwars, the egg arc I guess</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 04:53:36</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,133</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29118045</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maaiams/pseuds/Maaiams</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“How did you two get here?” Dream demanded. He turned to Purpled, “Did you invite them?”</p><p>GB80 raised an eyebrow at the owner of the server, looking him up and down with a sour expression on his face. “Ew, a Dream stan.” he finally said. “So many of ‘em on Hypixel these days."</p><p>--------------------<br/>Gamerboy80 and Chazm play on the DreamSMP server like it’s another sweaty game of Bedwars.</p><p>Perhaps the first GB80-centric fic on this site</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Andrew | gamerboy80 &amp; Chazm (Video Blogging RPF)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Bedwars Dreams [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2290016</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>38</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>125</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Bedwars on DreamSMP ft. Eggboy80 and L’Chazm</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Disclaimer: I have not seen a single clip from the DreamSMP since like, the (first) Festival. Everything from the Egg arc is based on what I’ve heard from tumblr. This is a crackfic and a satire. Not the well-thought-out stuff I usually write. It is meant to be funny.</p><p>Pro tip: just read this whole thing as a /s post. Every line that comes out of GB80’s mouth is dead-pan sarcasm. Chazm’s got a slightly lighter streak where only every other line is sarcastic.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em> Gamerboy80 joined the game </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Chazm joined the game </em>
</p><p> </p><p>GB80 immediately sat up. “Wow, this is my favorite map!” he proclaimed.</p><p>Chazm remained lying on the ground, rubbing his head. “I thought your favorite map was Lighthouse.”</p><p>“Lighthouse is too sweaty,” he got to his feet, looking around, “though this place is a different kinda sweaty.”</p><p>“What kinda sweaty?”</p><p>“Like, a sweaty kinda sweaty.” Eighty offered a hand to help him up, a smile on his face, “You know what I mean?”</p><p>“Yeah I know what you mean.” Chazm finally stood and looked around. “Well this sucks.” he declared, “There’s no gen.”</p><p>GB80 shrugged, “So, who we rushin’ first?”</p><p>A mischievous look crossed Chazm’s face. “Purpled.” he said with no hesitation. “Then Hannah. I heard she got on recently.”</p><p>“Oh boy they’re never gonna see us coming!”</p><p>They picked their way out of spawn, wandering aimlessly in the direction that seemed to be the most destroyed.</p><p>“Wow, what’s all of this?” GB80 exclaimed the moment red tendrils came creeping over the pocketed landscape. “Looks like someone forgot to clean up all their blockspam.” he turned to Chazm, “See, told you this was a sweaty map. All these people do is blockspam.”</p><p>“With netherrack?” Chazm kicked a red tendril with his foot. “<em>Someone </em> clearly doesn’t understand color theory.” he straightened the lapels of his gloriously bright yellow suit jacket.</p><p>“Um, this is netherwart, actually.” GB80 corrected him pretentiously. “They totally could have just used red wool instead.”</p><p>They wandered out of the creeper-holed landscape onto a beaten wooden path.</p><p>“Geez, the mapbuilders just get worse and worse.” GB80 observed, “How many blocks is it between bases?”</p><p>“Like, five.” Chazm replied diligently.</p><p>“Five?”</p><p>“Yeah I counted.”</p><p>“Incredible!” Eighty gasped. “A whole five blocks! I can’t believe they’d make us bridge so far!”</p><p>“Hmm well it’s almost as if-” Chazm paused dramatically, “this is a <em> survival server</em>.”</p><p>The two of them looked at each other intently, Chazm’s eyes meeting GB80’s mismatched red and yellow. The moment stretched on and on.</p><p>GB80 threw up his hands, “Eh, well, that can’t be right.”</p><p>“Yeah, that can’t be.” Chazm smirked.</p><p>The two of them meandered down the path till they caught sight of a familiar purple figure in the distance.</p><p>GB80 strolled by him. “Hey Purpled.”</p><p>“Hey GB80,” Purpled said instinctively. Then realization struck him and his head turned faster than Punz did on Dream. “Wait, <em> GB80</em>???” he squawked, “<em>Chazm</em>???”</p><p>“Hey man.” Chazm waved.</p><p>“What are you guys doing here?” he clapped his hands to the sides of his head, “Wait, does Dream-?” his hair suddenly stood on one end, “-<em>whoa</em>!” he shivered, “What the-”</p><p>
  <em> Teleported Dream to Purpled </em>
</p><p>There was a flash of light and the green man himself appeared out of thin air. Purpled let out a yelp as Dream landed in a heap on top of him.</p><p>“How did you two get here?” Dream demanded, struggling to get off of Purpled without stepping on him. He turned to Purpled, still laid out on the floor, “Did you invite them?”</p><p>“No!” Purpled threw his hands in the air, “I’m just as surprised as you!”</p><p>GB80 raised an eyebrow at the owner of the server, looking him up and down with a sour expression on his face. “Ew, a Dream stan.” he finally said. “So many of ‘em on Hypixel these days.”</p><p>“WHAT?” The white mask snapped around. “<em>WHAAAAAT</em>? I’m not a- ”</p><p>“DREAM!” a voice bellowed. Tommy came running over the hill, waving his hands frantically in the air, “DREAM, why the FUCK are you outside the prison?”</p><p>The admin sighed, “Not <em> now </em> Tommy, I’m dealing with a-”</p><p>“IS ANYONE STREAMING?” Tommy screamed, “QUICK, IS <em> ANYONE STREAMING</em>.”</p><p>“I am!” Chazm said.</p><p>“Yeah, he’s got like, 50k viewers.” GB80 said seriously.</p><p>Tommy looked horrified. He turned on Dream, “YOU’RE GONNA RUIN THE LORE!”</p><p>“I DIDN’T KNOW HE WAS STREAMING!” he yelled, tearing at his hair, “Look, I can’t carry a plotline <em> and </em> deal with whitelist issues at the same time!” his fingers flew over the air, opening and closing admin panels, “JUST GIVE ME A DAMN SECOND.” his figure froze.</p><p>
  <em> DreamXD joined the game </em>
</p><p>“There, better now?” Dream said from his other body.</p><p>GB80 looked between the two Dreams. “Oh wow, more Dream stans.” he nudged Chazm with a shoulder. “Quick, let’s get outta here before they multiply again.” He dug into his pockets for an enderpearl and pearled away. Chazm followed.</p><p>“I’m NOT A DREAM STAN!” Dream bellowed after them, “I’m THE REAL DEAL!”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>They reappeared on some other destroyed landscape. This part of the server seemed even more destroyed than usual, which was saying something. They stopped to admire a large crater in the ground.</p><p>“Hey look, it’s you!” GB80 pointed at the smoldering chasm. “L’Chazm.”</p><p>The two Bedwars players looked at each other, both struggling to keep a straight face. It was the only indication that the two of them knew <em> exactly </em> what they were doing.</p><p>A brown-haired girl appeared on the edge of the crater. Their second rush of the day.</p><p>“-not looking, not looking!” they could hear her yell as she determinedly avoided looking at L’Mancrater. </p><p>“Hey Hannah!” Chazm waved.</p><p>“<em>Chazm</em>????” Hannah exclaimed, then did a double take, “<em>Eighty???</em>”</p><p>Suddenly, the air grew electric.</p><p>
  <em> Teleported DreamXD to hannahxxrose </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Teleported Purpled to hannahxxrose </em>
</p><p>“Hannah!” Purpled yelled out in warning, but it was too late. They collided in a tangle of limbs.</p><p>Only Dream stayed floating in the air thanks to his magical admin powers. “<em>You two </em> are <em> so hard </em> to <em> locate</em>!” he yelled, “I don’t know <em> how </em> you got onto my server, but it doesn’t seem to recognize that you’re on here!”</p><p>“Stop stealing my kids!” GB80 yelled back at him. He threw his arms around Purpled and Hannah, “These were <em>my</em> fellow Bedwars players before you took them in. Look man, I may have just <em> slightly </em> less subscribers than you and it’s not my fault I don’t have thousands of dollars I can just give away to them, but I knew them first!” he shook a fist at him, “You can’t replace me!”</p><p>“Calm down old man,” Chazm chuckled, patting his shoulder placatingly, “You’ve always got me, I’ll never leave you.”</p><p>“Thanks, Chaz.”</p><p>While Dream was flabbergasted by his sudden outburst, Eighty turned to the two teens. “Okay well, it was nice seeing both of you Purpled and Hannah, but we’ll be heading out.” he raised an enderpearl in sync with Chazm. “GB80 and Chazm, <em> away</em>!”</p><p>They vanished before Dream could stop them.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>They were wandering down the beaten, broken wooden path again when an ominous figure pounced on them.</p><p>Eighty immediately shoved Chazm out of the way, drawing his sword. “Hey, what’s the meaning of this?”</p><p>“Oh, it’s the muffin man.” Chazm brushed off his flawless suit, drawing his sword as well. “What’s up?”</p><p>“The Egg demands your presenceeeeee….” Bad hissed, drawing out his words like a snake being trampled alive. </p><p>GB80 looked at Chazm. Chazm looked at GB80. They both shrugged.</p><p>“Okay.” Chazm said.</p><p>“This sounds fun.” Eighty sheathed his sword, “Lead on, I guess.”</p><p>Bad led them to the Egg, hissing and spitting and being all spooky-like the entire way. They entered a cavern filled with dangling crimson vines. At its center stood the titular Egg.</p><p>Bad went over to it, running his hands over its shell. “Give into itttttt…” he hissed, “It’ll give you anything you wantttt…..”</p><p>"Anything I want?" GB80 thought for a moment. “Well I want Nike to sponsor me,” he twisted his black and silver jacket in his hands and sniffed, “I wear their brand every time I record, why won’t they sponsor me?” he turned to Chazm. “What do you want?”</p><p>“I want a smoothie.” Chazm said.</p><p>“Oh in that case, could I get fries with that?”</p><p>“Not like that!” Bad screeched, “You fools! Disrespecting the Egg will only lead to your deaths!”</p><p>As if answering his words, the room shook and blood-red vines shot out at them.</p><p>"Eek!” GB80 dodged a vine that came swinging at him. He put his hands on his hips, “See, now <em> that’s </em> called a counter-offensive trap. Hypixel, take notes.”</p><p>“Actually, I would appreciate being able to run real fast right now.” Chazm ducked another swing from the Egg.</p><p>“C’mon Chaz, we’re <em> Bedwars </em> players.” Eighty rolled his eyes, blockstacking up, “We don’t <em> need </em> to run, we just bridge.”</p><p>“Oh, good point!”</p><p>The two of them stacked up to where the vines couldn’t reach them. Bad growled at their evasion, pulling out a stack of netherwart and beginning to tower up after them.</p><p>“Wow, what a non.” GB80 observed as he flat-bridged towards them</p><p>“I’m not a non!” Bad yelled, leaping at them from his bridge.</p><p>“Uhhhh, block trap!” Chazm yelled, throwing up a wall in front of him. Bad slammed into it and fell through the open block. He landed on the floor, dazed. Chazm peeked at him through the one block gap. “Sorry man, but you just got trolled.”</p><p>Bad flopped to one side, recognition shimmering in his eyes, “Skeppy used to do that to me,” he sobbed.</p><p>“Oh, that sucks.” Chazm offered as Bad curled up into a ball and cried about his absent (ex?)boyfriend.</p><p>“Hey, watch this!” Eighty called, waving a block in the air, “Are you watching?”</p><p>Chazm tore himself away from the sobbing demon in the room. “Yeah, I’m watching.”</p><p>“Okay!” Eighty blew out a breath and immediately began breezily bridging like a maniac, huffing and puffing. He stopped just short of the Egg’s pulsating shell and fearlessly pointed his sword at it. “I’ve defeated the likes of you before!” he announced dramatically.</p><p>“Oh you mean like, cancer?” Chazm asked.</p><p>“What, <em> no</em>,” GB80 whirled around, “I meant like, <em> Eggwars</em>. I used to be the best Eggwars player before Bedwars got more popular.”</p><p>“Oh righttttt.”</p><p>“Now watch this.” The best Bedwars player and formerly best Eggwars player stepped forward and gave the Egg a tap. It vanished instantly.</p><p>==========================================================================================</p><p>
  <b>VICTORY!</b>
</p><p>==========================================================================================</p><p>The cavern rumbled, dirt and crimson vines falling from the ceiling.</p><p>“Well, we’re outta here!” GB80 grabbed Chazm and immediately began sprinting towards the exit.</p><p>“NOOOOOOO THE <em> EGGGGGGG</em>!” Bad howled, clutching his face, “I spent <em> SO </em> long building that!”</p><p>“Sorry man,” Chazm apologized as they sped past, “Should’ve defended it better next time.”</p><p>“Typical Bedwars player.” Eighty muttered.</p><p>Finally, eyesore red gave away to green as they resurfaced. The sun was setting, casting everything in long shadows. Waiting on the grass for them was the hulking form of a pig-man.</p><p>“Gamerboy.” Technoblade greeted. “Fancy seein’ you here.”</p><p>“Fancy seeing me here?” GB80 scoffed, “Well what do you say, Techno?” he spread his arms out proudly, “Didn’t we do such a good job?”</p><p>His fearsome tusks twitched into a smile, “Ya should’a seen the look on Dream’s face when he teleported on top of me lookin’ for you two.”</p><p>“You didn’t tell him, did you?”</p><p>“ ‘course not.”</p><p>Chazm stepped forward, “Why didn’t you do the dirty work yourself instead of recruiting us, ey man?”</p><p>“Oh, you know, role-playin’ ” Techno shrugged sheepishly, “Sometimes I enjoy doin’ it a bit too much. Couldn’t break character even if I wanted’ to. Bet you two gave ‘em a real scare.”</p><p>“You should’ve seen Tommy.” Chazm laughed.</p><p>“Well, anarchy’s anarchy, though I suppose this was a whole new level of anarchy.” Techno scratched his chin in thought, “Wasn’t just overthrowin’ fictional governments for fun anymore, nearly overthrew the actual server structure itself by recruitin’ you guys.” he stuck out a hand, “Now I’d say welcome’ to the Syndicate, but I don’t suppose Dream’ll be letting you guys stay ‘round for much longer.”</p><p>“Nope!” GB80 took his hand and shook it, “Pleasure doing business with you Techno, now stay outta Bedwars for me, will ya? I don’t need to sink any further down on the leaderboards just cause I refuse to grind for stars anymore.”</p><p>“All the grindin’ I do now is on here.” Technoblade reassured him. He pulled out his trident and held it up in the air, “See ya around.”</p><p>After watching the pig-man miraculously fly away on his trident, Chazm turned to his fellow Bedwars player, “Great, what do we do now?”</p><p>“Hmmmm.” GB80 turned in a circle, looking around, “Oh! What’s that over there?” he pointed at a formidable obsidian structure. “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”</p><p>Chazm met his look with an identical smirk, “Hmmm lemme guess, are we stealing obsidian and putting it on our own bed defense?”</p><p>Distantly, Tommy’s scream of horror could be heard over the horizon. “THE <em> LOREEEEEEEEE</em>!”</p><p>“On second thought,” GB80 said, “We should probably get going.”</p><p>Chazm stuck a finger in his ear, “Yeah, something tells me we should.”</p><p>Eighty laughed and shook his head, “See, this is why we’ll never get invited to the DreamSMP.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Gamerboy80 left the game </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Chazm left the game </em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I can’t believe this actually ended up having plot. I didn’t plan to write any, but it happened and got somewhat of a character study as well. Hope y’all got all the Bedwars references.</p><p>Edit: people who have watched GB80 and Chazm, please comment below. I would love to hear which references you got and what you thought was funny. And even if you haven't watched them, I'd love to see a comment as well :)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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